Bye boy..

I have slacked on updating this.. I know! I have been busy enjoying life though so you can't really blame me.

So I recently went on an "adventure" I guess you could call it, and I have been trying this whole online dating thing. I say "adventure" because it has been interesting to say the least. I went on one date with a guy from it. He was super nice, I have absolutely nothing bad to say about him. He was a total gentleman, and makes a mean deer steak! I just don't thing the "dating connection" was there between us. Who knows.  I also went on a lunch date with another guy. Everything went well, I thought. Of course you can't force someone to talk back.
What I have noticed mostly is no one talks to each other. Glad I could help boost your little ego there bro. Get off the dating thingy if you really aren't going to put an effort out there and at least respond back. HA! Who am I kidding, this is dating of 2017. I am screwed basically! (not the good kind either)
Besides the obvious things (which is sad) with the hookup culture we live in now, you get to see some interesting things. It is actually pretty disheartening and reminds me why I don't like to date in the first place, of the many reasons. The amount of cheating men and swingers is enough to make me think twice to even try. I have no judgement, if that is how you want to live your life have at it. It doesn't affect me either way. Just not my cup of tea really.
I feel like my main issue I have noticed with this whole thing could possibly be a Utah thing? Maybe it isn't though since I obviously have never dated outside of Utah. The trend I have noticed is that men don't seem to like a girl who is busy a lot, or not always available right on the spot. I work almost 9 hours days Monday to Friday. Sometimes I work longer hours even. Then after I go to the gym typically for another 2 hours. I also travel a lot with my work too. We go to different trades hows and do training's.
Apparently because of my regular schedule, and the fact I won't just skip the gym for some dude makes me a "stuck up" "workaholic" "waste of time". Yes I have been called each of those things among the many other things. Not necessarily all at once, but you get the idea.
My favorite conversation with one gentleman I had we will call him J. We have been trying to find a day to meet up, possibly go hiking but our schedules just haven't matched up. He then asked me, "Do you have a hard time with relationships with your schedule?" Well, J, what relationships? I have been single going on past 2 years now. I do basically what I want. However, yes I do work a lot.
My response back was, "I honestly haven't really been dating much till recently. But right now yeah it has basically been impossible because I guess most guys aren't use to someone being so focused n their job? At least that is how I feel about it. I feel like a lot of women just don't have a drive to be successful and work their asses off.." Given we have talked about our jobs before and I explained to him all of this before.
J responds, "I think there are plenty who are driven. I've met them and dated them. When they get to their 30's they are extremely lonely and regretful." 
Me, "What is that supposed to mean???"
J, "It means they sacrificed marriage and having a family and wish they hadn't."

First of J, I am 27 years old. I finished my schooling, have a career I LOVE, and live with minimal debt because I have been working so hard for so long. I won't regret a single thing I have done with my life because my life is GREAT! I have had to watch many of my friends grow up, have their families, get married, get divorced at my age, and they regret it because they still have so many things they wanted to do, but now have to wait because they started their families so early. Just because I have chosen to wait on all of that, does not by any means mean that by the time I am 30 in 2 1/2 years that I will regret my choices. I work hard so my future family will be able to live a beautiful life together. I work hard so I can also experience everything life has to offer to me. Just because the typical Utah girl had 4 kids by the time she is my age does not mean that is what I wanted for myself right now.

My response
"I have no regrets about how I live really. Do I want that? Yes. But I am not in a rush because I am happy with life. I'm living my dream and doing the things I want. I'm only 27 and I'm building my life now so my future family can live a wonderful life. I have friends who are my age and have already been divorced once or twice because they rushed getting married and having families. I don't want that. I want to do things right and meet the right person. I have no problem waiting."

J, "Would you say you're the relationship type?"

me, "Yes I am. Just not with you."

Maybe I took things wrong.. who knows. To me I felt as if he was not okay with the fact that I like to work. I do not feel as if he would be the type to support me and my dreams completely because, apparently according to J, by now I was supposed to have settled down and have a family. Sorry, no. That is not the life I have chosen for myself. I will work hard for the things I want, and I am willing to sacrifice some things in order to live the life I want. THAT IS OKAY!!!! There is nothing wrong with waiting!! I want to travel still and go see things. I want to go to Alaska and hunt and fish, and see Europe, and travel to New Zealand and hunt there too. I want to do so many different things, and not have to worry about my children at home. I have goals and ambitions I would like to accomplish before I start my family, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. By the time I do start my family I can look back and say, I accomplished so many things. Then I can look at my babies and say, now I get to accomplish so much more with you. That is the life I want to live. So yes, I will wait until it is right.
Needless to say, I am no longer doing the whole online dating thing now! :)

I came across this article.. struck my fancy with the title "Please be patient with me, I promise you I am worth it" 👊💓 PREACH girl because YOU ARE WORTH IT. I started reading it and felt like she was speaking to my soul right now in my point in life. I just wanted to expand on it a little because, I am NO GOOD at talking about my feelings. I am so much better at writing them out. Writing about my feelings is a secondary way for me to be able to express and release my emotions, comes just after after weight lifting! I am going to take bits and pieces of the article so if you want to read the whole thing, I have linked it at the bottom. So here goes nothing.....

"I know I am a handful 87% of the time. You might rethink being with me often and what it is about me that makes you feel like it’ll all be worth it. With my constant worrying and freaking out, I don’t blame you."

- I am a handful at least 100% of the time HA! That is why you have two hands though

"But believe me when I say that I’m worth it. I’m worth all the shit I put you through. I’m worth loving and investing all your time and energy in.

Know that I trust you, even though I’ve built walls that sometimes feel like no matter how hard you try, aren’t coming down. There has been so much in my past that I feel like creeps up during my happiest moments and haunts me. So it's inevitable that every time I feel comfortable, I start worrying or creating faulty scenarios in my mind."

Please just be patient with me."

-PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING are huge because my anxiety driven over thinking brain gets complicated. I worry about stupid things and over think little scenarios I shouldn't, but as much as I try I can not help it. Typically on most days I can talk myself through this process and move on. Other days it's like there is a drum in my head repeatedly telling myself all the bad things that have happened in my past relationships are going to occur again. Which isn't fair to anyone. It's a vicious cycle that I really am trying my best to correct. So when I am at my worst PLEASE understand I am trying. I just need a little time.

"Promise me that you won’t get frustrated or annoyed. Understand that all of my worries come from loving and caring for you so much. All I truly want is for us to work out and be happy.

I know I'm not always  the easiest person to love. I know my heart can be hard to understand.

There are tons of things that are constantly weighing on my mind. Like what I did wrong in past relationships, the types of guys I was with, the words they said to me, and so much more. I've always struggled with talking about my feelings and expressing them in all the right ways. I've been hurt so much in my past and have had countless people walk out, including the people who I trusted and loved the most.

I’m not used to feeling good enough. I’m used to feeling insecure, used, replaceable, and worthless. And I have a ton of people to thank for that."

- You will get frustrated and annoyed. It's just bound to happen and that's okay, but I only ask you don't just give up on me. As long as we keep trying though is the key. We are a team and we have to work together. I promise you I will give it my all if you do too. However, the minute you decide not to give your everything anymore.. Don't be shocked when I pull back too. I have been in that position where I gave EVERYTHING to make something work, and it almost destroyed me. 

"You put up with me even though I can be the most complicated person in the world. You make me feel beautiful, important, smart, and most importantly, loved. I promise you, one day it will all make sense and all of the effort and time you put it in will all be worth it.

So please just be patient..."

             -I am not the most simple girl out there. I have lived my life and it has brought me to where I am. The good and the bad, just like you. We both bring so many things to the table. It is just a matter now of fitting the pieces and how much you want something. It has been easy for me to just not date and open myself up to people. That is the safe way to play this game, but it's not what I want ultimately. I want to find that person who will NEVER give up on me. My best friend I can go do stupid things with and enjoy everything life has to offer. I needed this time though to learn to love myself again, and believe me I think I am pretty rad!
 I know what I bring to the table and I refuse to ever settle again for something that doesn't deserve me. Just please... I am asking you...if you have caught my eye, don't play the games. I don't have time for it. Nor can my heart really handle it. Give me the time and attention I deserve. If you aren't willing to give me that, or would rather split that attention between me and 10 other chicks... move along. This is why I could never be on the Bachelor! As entertaining as that might be... it's not how I want to start a relationship. Be all in, or get out. 
Please if you do decide to leave, don't come back. My past relationships have all done that and quite frankly it hurts. Why did it have to take my absence for you to pull your head out of your ass? Realize what you have in front of you or lose it forever. Because I promise you, I don't NEED you. I choose you to be a part of my life. I want you to be happy. No matter what the choice is. I will do my very best every single day to make you happy, it's just who I am. Yes, I know. Relationships aren't all sunshine and rainbows, but that doesn't mean I won't try like hell. Please be patient with me and don't give up on me.

 I PROMISE YOU I AM WORTH IT!

http://www.puckermob.com/moblog/please-be-patient-with-me-i-promise-im-worth-it

Update with a rant

I guess you could say I am still in that “slump” where I feel..or after looking as this progress picture I should be saying felt.... like I am not making any progress. I am sticking to my meal plans, working out like I should be, and pushing myself every day to get better and better. Not only physically but mentally. I have always been so hard on myself and how I view my body, but I am still working on it. I am the most confident now than I ever have been my whole life. Not just because I feel like I look good, but because I FEEL good!
 I was asked the other day how I stay motivated through this 10 week challenge, and as I was thinking about it dawned on me that a huge portion of it was that my goals are bigger than my wants at this point in life. The positive influences I have kept in my life are also a huge factor. This goes beyond close friends and family. I am talking about the people even on social media that I follow. I noticed I went through every now and then and removed the people who were “fake” to me. You know what I mean by this if you have an Instagram account too.. the girls who promote their Skinny Tea, only taking their booty pics to show their “booty gains”

                    –YES I just rolled my eyes there-

or the girls who have their boobs hanging half way out of their shirts while they workout. Sorry not sorry but that is FAKE and unrealistic to me. I don’t want that in my life giving myself those unrealistic expectations. I crave the real people who you know work their asses off day in and day out to better themselves for themselves. 

This was one goal I set for myself among the many, was that I needed to space myself from all the negative energy around my life. It hasn’t been easy because a lot of that negativity was the people I surrounded myself with or the people trying to come into my life. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying these people are bad people, so if you are a friend of mine and I don’t talk to you nearly as much or we don’t hang out as much DO NOT FREAK OUT! I have been busy and have been focusing on my life and my goals. You should already know that by now. If you don’t understand that… as the old saying goes… “If the shoe fits, feel free to lace that bitch up!”

This whole process has amazed me on the quality of people in the world, and how they will react or treat you once you are no longer benefiting to them. I have people who get irritated when I don’t text them back or am not able to drop what I am doing to accommodate them in some way. I guess in today’s world it is hard for most people to understand the world of a woman like me who works 9 to sometimes 14 hour days. Then commits her time after work to the gym for 1-2 hours almost every day. I won’t apologize to you for my schedule and how I choose to run my life haha. I won’t even apologize to you for forgetting to text or call you back or being too busy to come out with you because AGAIN… I choose this life style and this is what is making me happy and getting me where I want to be in life. If you do not understand that, sucks to suck my friend! It very well could be you are that negative energy I am spacing myself from because I do not need someone who doesn’t support my goals and dreams.

The last couple weeks I have surrounded myself by some of the most amazing people I know! Just through ReelCamo Girl alone I have met some amazing girls with the same goals and passions I have. So to end this rant I have gone on now… My suggestion to you, if you want to succeed in life you need to surround yourself by positive influences and people who are going to have your back, will push you, and keep you focused on the end goal. Also if you are trying to lose weight, CONSISTENCY IS KEY! Take pictures weekly in the same lighting and take body fat measurements. DON’T ONLY GO OFF OF WEIGHT! I know that is so hard to do, but weight is not a consistent measurement. Better yet, go see a professional. Someone licensed and trained- especially these two- because they will guide you down the right path to a better you.

To my friends who might be struggling, please let me know! I am more than happy to try and help motivate you or push you to be better. Just remember, you are only as good as your excuses let you be. We all have the same 24 hours in a day and you are the only one who gets to decide how those hours are spent.

DON’T GIVE UP YOUR DAY DREAM! 

www.reelcamogirl.com      www.facebook.com/ReelCamoGirl/

3 weeks in

 

Okay so I am not very good at keeping this up to date weekly. I have been super busy with life things so I will update you on where I am at. Quite honestly, this has been one of the most challenging things I have done. I knew it would be when I went into this. I guess I just underestimated exactly HOW challenging this would be for me. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. I am at that point right now where I want to quit.. I would seriously KILL for a doughnut right now. I look at myself and I don't see change. I don't see a difference, and it is incredibly frustrating. You get so use to how you look everyday, I guess you just don't see the change. Which is why I have made sure to take weekly pictures so I can reflect just how far I have come in three short weeks. Some of these are small changes, but they are changes!! Every single day I grow more and more in love with this process and how much it has helped me improve myself in different ways.

You will also notice I have pretty much the same bra on in most of these pics... I swear I do laundry! haha once a week in fact my clothes get washed! I just happen to wear the same ones each time I have taken my weekly pic I guess!

 

First day of the challenge

 

 Top pics week 1, bottom week 2

 

 Top pic week 2, bottom pic week 3

I am super bloated here in week 3.. stupid bloat!

 

I am working every single day to better myself not just physically but mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. The biggest thing I am working on for myself is to be more positive. So that is my challenge to you. I completely believe there is positivity to each situation. It is just a matter of seeing it and believing it. I have about 7 more weeks to go of the actual challenge. However, the trainer I purchased is a full 12 weeks so technically I have about 9 more weeks to go. I have to keep fighting and pushing. Through every single set back I keep facing, I will get through it and won't let it stop me. This was what I told myself when I started. I wasn't going to let my excuses get in the way ever again. Old habits are hard to kill, but I am also incredibly stubborn. If you are also doing the Ashley Horner Transform You Challenge, or are doing/have done her trainers, please follow me and I will follow back!! Support systems work! I can't thank my support groups enough for listening to me during my up's and down's. Now.. if someone could kindly make me a super healthy doughnut I can eat that tastes AMAZING... I will love you forever!

 

Jackson Hole, WY.

A little bit of my photography from over this last weekend! These were just a few of my favorite shots! Thanks for peeking :)

Transform You Challenge DAY 1

Happy Monday ya'll! It has been a minute, I needed to step back and take care of a few things! So for those who follow my Social Media pages know I am starting a Transform You Challenge with Ashley Horner. 

TODAY IS DAY 1... and I have already sucked! I had every single intention of waking up early and going to do my fasted cardio, but my insomnia decided otherwise so I slept through ALL 6 ALARMS!! The day is not over though. This is a 10 week challenge, so I will do my best to keep you posted weekly of my progress and challenges I am facing with this. 

I chose to do this because I want/need to push myself. I want to get stronger and I figured this would be a great way to boost me to where I want to go. Plus after looking at my before pictures.. I could use the extra push. Not that I am fat or out of shape, those stupid pictures are just COMPLETELY unflattering and terrible. I look at those pictures and think... that is not me. That is not what I look like!!!! It literally makes me mad, so NO I will not be posting them, YET. Not that I am embarrassed but it is an incredibly vulnerable thing for me to post, and I am not ready for that because that is 100% not how I see myself everyday when I look in the mirror. 

This challenge is going to help push me to be the best I can be. If you have never done any of Ashley's trainers before I will briefly explain how they work. I have only done one before so I am sure they will vary between trainers.  Much like many other trainers, she will give you meal plans to follow and a training guide. It then is up to you to follow each step and to push yourself. You don't have someone physically there to push you. In 2015 I did Ashley's Becoming Extraordinary trainer

This time I have chosen to do Magnify You-
"Magnify You (magnify yourself) is just that! Making your presence known by increasing your strength and muscle definition while staying lean. Magnify You is a 12 week program encouraging you to lift as heavy as you can and to NOT BE AFRIAD to lift heavy. Magnify You has many pyramid lifting techniques, drop sets, super sets and more. Magnify You has less cardio than Becoming Extraordinary."

 It had me sold at lift heavy and LESS CARDIO! The challenge is only 10 weeks.. however, I plan on following the full 12 week training guide. 

So like I said, I will do my best to keep you updated on my whole journey! I am so excited for this process and I already miss doughnuts and pizza! This is for me, and my future. I refuse to hold myself back and say I can't do this.. because I know I can. Yes the 4K would be SO nice to win, but that isn't the point here for me. I want and need to push myself harder than I ever have before. I refuse to let my health issues and my excuses keep holding me back from everything I have dreamed about having for myself. Here is to day 1 to the rest of my life! 

Gym tank cutting

 Are you anything like me and have A MILLION different t- shirts that just sit in your closet or drawer, never to be used?! Are you sick of buying $30 gym tanks just for them to get ruined because you sweat like a pig and they get stretched out, and gross looking after a few wears? Same booboo... same!!! Honestly, I would almost rather wear one of these t-shirt tanks anyway because they are so comfy.. I really hate wearing skin tight tanks at the gym. They drive me crazy! I have been asked by many to share how I cut up my shirts, and honestly I mostly got my cutting technique from Dana Bailey, here is her YouTube link https://youtu.be/HORdtWfXums
I want to say a quick thank you to those who have reached out to me and follow my blog. I know it isn't much, but I really enjoy this. If you ever have ideas for me or want to hear something please feel free to contact me and let me know!! I love having people throw out new ideas for me!!

Step 1- Get a t-shirt of choice

Step 2- To make the arm holes even I bring the bottom of the shirt up to where I would like to have the desired length of the arm hole. I usually cut it about an inch under the shirt sleeve.

Step 3- Once arms are cut, then I cut out the neck. I don't mind having the back lower so I just cut both sides fairly even if I can. Some times I will cut the front of the shirt more, as shown here.

Step 4- I like the razer back shirt look so I cut the back in more. Don't worry to much about them being exact, I highly doubt anyone will notice if it's uneven. 

Here is how the back looked, I sometimes like to add a little something to the shirt so have fun with it. I cut out little slits, and tied them together. Just gives the shirt a little spunk 😉

Here is how the front looks. It's pretty simple once you get the hang of it. You can get creative with them, there really is no wrong way to cut up a old shirt!