“Happy endings were never handed out. You had to fight for them, earn them with bruised hearts and sacrifices.” -Kim Harrison

I am sitting here in bed tonight eating my favorite ice cream.. Ben and Jerry's- Half Baked, all cozy with the humidifier on and my essential oils flooding the room with delicate smells of spearmint, lavender, and cinnamon. Tebow, my pup child, is snoozing away having little puppy dreams. Growling, running, and barking randomly at times, probably at a rabbit or another doggy friend. I have Netflix blaring of course as I watch my favorite show Grey's Anatomy. One of my favorite episodes- I have many- and I always cry in them. It never matters how many times I watch them, but episode 10.24 really triggered something today. Where Christina and Meredith are dancing it out then tells Meredith...

"Don't let what he wants eclipse what you need.

He is very dreamy, but he is not the sun. You are." - Christina Yang

 

The thought dawns on me and she is right.

So here goes my rant for the night..

 

For to long I have been told I am to much...

To bold

To selfish

To unattached

To closed off

To quiet

To manly ( LOL)

To loud

To stubborn

To what ever.....

 

*eye roll*

 

You want to know what I am..

 

I am too forgiving

I am too passionate

I am too caring

I am too stubborn

I am too heartfelt

I am too loud

I am too bold

I am too what ever.....

 

That is part, PART of who I am. I have been molded into this person I am today from everything I have been through, dealt with, and endured from this wild life of mine. However, I will NOT apologize for anything I am. I am human just like you. I laugh, sleep, drink, cry, and put my pants on just like you. I am a woman, not some fairy tail princess who needs to be saved because I promise you I got this. It's totally okay if that is how someone feels about me. The right people I need and want in my life love me for me. Good, bad, and ugly. Those are the type of people YOU need in your life. Sometimes people just come into our lives to give us a lesson. They are only a chapter in your life, but it's not the end of your book. "he is not the sun, YOU ARE." -C.Y.

 

My bruised heart and the sacrifices I made in my life have lead me here to where I am today. You are so perfect right? There aren't things that make you who you are that someone doesn't like? HA! Get real!

 

Life is not all glitter and roses and wine. There is a lot of hard things people go through in life and you do not get to judge how they mold from it. You might not like it, but hey... can't be everyone's favorite cup of tea all the time. You watch all these fairly tale movies, and shows where the guy gets the girl and they ride off into the sunset all cheerful like. Life isn't always like that. You have to get through your darkest days, darkest moments to enjoy the lighter days and brighter times.

The right people/person will love all the things about you. All of them. Even the ugly things or hard things about you. So no matter how much it may hurt when someone rejects a part of who you are, just remember in the end it's how they feel too. Their feelings are just as justifiable as yours, even if theirs kind of suck.

"because sometimes that's what has to be done. You have to lay down with it. The hurt. Or the heartache or even the hate. What ever it is inside. Sometimes you have to get close to it. Taste it and understand it so you can define it, before it defines you." - JM Storm

 

It won't be easy, but there are always brighter days ahead. So keep your chin up. Keep it down to long the tiara will start to slip, sweetheart. THEY are not the sun. You are.